The Macallan Meet Your Heroes x Mel Barzandeh
BY SOPHIE CHUNG
Senior Registered Architect, Context Architects
12 - AUG - 2024
Osmose her big dick energy.
My first encounter with Mel was iconic. Sam and I were at a music festival over the summer and Mel walked up to us with resolute purpose, to state, “you two are a very aesthetically pleasing couple and should have babies,” then swiftly disappeared into the abyss. From this encounter, I immediately gathered that she’s a) confident b) bold c) fearless and d) speaks her mind - all qualities that I greatly respect as I detest suffering dilly-dallying snowflakes that dance around things. I love the direct approach and do not enjoy pass-agg allusions as I’m no mind reader.
Anyway, it turned out that we had a mutual friend, Steve (the one who put on the festival) and we met each other serendipitously again through him. Once we got chatting, I had an instant connection with this fellow ENTJ (I know psychologists have said Myers Brigg is not reliable as results aren’t consistent but it’s better than categorising one’s personality with star signs, don’t you think? Ooh she’s feeling sassy today!) and she filled a void that had been missing in my social life. I’ve been called insane and psycho and all the things in between which used to fuel self-doubt and had me spiralling in the self-confidence arena last year, which is an unnatural state for me to be in as I’m a loud only child with an excessive amount of pride.
During my time being coached by Rosie Holt, which was mainly me crying after the reflection activities - this is why I call her a productive therapist - I vowed to be intentional in all aspects of my life. Of all the things to be intentional with, I knew that what needed the most attention was the people I was surrounding myself with. It’s hard to let go of people sometimes as the wave of sentimentality can make you wobble at the hope for a better future. But there’s a reason for all the proverbs about never going back to your ex.
In my case, I decided that I would focus on building a positive network of people and to put into action Jim Rohn’s saying, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” And it has been the most rewarding experience ever. I am at peak happiness because I meticulously choose who I’m spending my time with. It’s the one thing we can never get back so why give it to someone who makes you feel yuck? Cut off your gangrene limb. It’s got to go before it infects the rest of you.
While getting to know Mel, which is not a long time, the mutant shell that grew from toxic relationships began to dissolve. It’s interesting how people can eat away at your core bite by bite over time but when you action the change that you need, you can relatively quickly return to the peaceful state of equilibrium that you always had within you.
She, alongside a group of women that I sit on the same wavelength with, gassed me up and helped me embrace myself, which is drastically different to mere acceptance. To see another ENTJ revel in the glory of being unapologetically herself, was all I needed to have my eureka moment, to realise that I can choose to be just me, in all its unhinged ways. And in that moment, most of my anxiety kind of just slithered away into the darkness that it deserves to be stowed away in.
This is a long-winded way to say that Mel is one of my heroes and saviours, so it only made sense to ask her to be on the panel for The Macallan ‘Meet Your Heroes.’ It’s hard not to thrive off the energy she exudes, and even if you absorb only a whiff of her boss bitch essence, you’ll swipe away from this interview feeling like a baddie ready to make big moves.
What are your passions, purpose in life and how do you balance or utilise the two?
If you love your career it doesn’t feel like work, but what I found is your environment is just as important as the work you do. This leads to feeling fulfilled, happy and free in your everyday activities, which in turn leads me into what I think my purpose at this point in my life is, and that is to know I won't struggle financially or career wise in the future, When you develop a skill and constantly grow that skill and learn and teach, you will be good at anything and there will always be something to do. You’re irreplaceable in a sense of ‘people want you as a person not just you to do the job.’ And if they don’t, that’s the wrong person/company.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Academically, my architect registration process and acceptance, I thought I was great at my job until I started studying for my professional registration. It was at that point when I realised how much I didn’t know! I think the process has definitely made me a better architect and better at my job.
Achievement in life: seeing evidence that I have become the person I needed whilst growing up. We are in the business of emotion. In everything we do, we are humans that have emotions and this will always be an important connection in any industry. Information Informs, Emotion Transforms.
OK first off. If you’ve read Mel’s bio, it will blow your mind. You went to uni at 16 years old? Can you tell us about your childhood and how you came to start your architectural studies at such a young age?
I originally wanted to be a Quantity Surveyor like my dad, however, the creative side of me knew that I wouldn't last long watching my spending! I picked up some higher credited papers in high school and managed to get into the 2 year NDAT (National Diploma in Architectural Technology) paper, which is basically drafting 101. The con of being at uni at 16 was that I couldn't meet my peers at the bar for drinks at the end of each semester!
Once I completed my 2 year diploma, it was clear I wanted to continue my postgraduate studies in Architecture, so I completed the Bachelor of Architectural Studies (3 years) and then the Master of Architecture (2 years), in which one of the two years was completed in Germany on a University Scholarship Exchange programme. What a year that was! I had so much fun studying with the other students and experienced a different world of design, delivery and communication. Highly recommend taking an international study year if you have the opportunity!
In a very unique industry that’s male-dominated and multi-disciplinary which to be fair, does allow for some level of arrogance with how much intelligence and grit that it demands - how do you battle the egos?
Well its more in the construction industry where I found there are a lot of masculine egos, especially when you get to the point where you're sitting in a site office every week after walking through and picking up what has been built incorrectly and the egos will rip you down, ESPECIALLY if you are a young female.
I always tun up prepared, understand what has been designed and drawn, the code and being solution based. What you realise is that you don’t have to be loud to show how big your dick is, you can go through the right procedure and show you are on the same team with the same goal, we all work for the client and they are the ones that are paying for a service and so you want to make sure it runs in smooth as possible.
If the other parties aren’t playing ball, I have code compliance tricks that I apply early on, then I end it with ‘if this is how you want the next 18 months to go, we can do this, or we can pull our heads in and work together to get this done easily and beautifully). It goes both ways, as architects, we are not always right and what we design can be difficult to build so we need to compromise and be reasonable in that sense too. I can still pick up the phone and call all the past contractors I’ve worked with to this day and ask for help and guidance as we ended up building a strong professional relationship. I helped one of them check some RC conditions too before they purchased their first property.
What do you read, who do you listen to or talk to, to keep you grounded?
I come from a muslim yet very liberal family here. Back home in Iran, I have always believed in God and have been taught to pray and to be thankful, as opposed to ask God for anything. Pre covid, I went back quite often and it always put into perspective how much my parents sacrificed and gave up to get me to NZ. Seeing what’s happening in the world right now is devastating, and once you have visited or lived in countries where basic rights are not given, you will always go back to those experiences and remind yourself that you are doing great. It’s been a struggle for me personally to reduce the amount of guilt I always felt when good things happened to me and not my cousins back home who I am super close with.
What is a quote or mantra that you live by to keep yourself going?
I have three I live by each day in any situation, personal and professional.
- You never really know someone until they don't get what they want.
- If someone says no, you're asking the wrong person.
- Not all money is good money.
What are your green flags when meeting people?
I mainly catch a vibe from the intuition and energy I feel from them, as hippie as that sounds. My gut instincts have always been 100% right in the past, when something feels off, it probably is! Genuine, honest and vulnerable people are always my people. And anyone wearing sequins, obviously!
Best advice you’ve been given?
From my dad, there are a few, but one that I still stand by today. Whenever I would feel bad about pushing back or intimidated to stand up for myself he said ‘if they don’t feel bad doing this to you, why do you feel bad for pushing back/fighting back’. He said this to me in high school when I was bullied and I've taken this piece of advice through my adult life and is the main reason why I strive to stand up for others if I see anything that doesn’t sit well with me and my values.
RELATED STORIES
GIVEAWAY
SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to Chatty Chum's mailing list to receive the latest in beauty and lifestyle news, giveaways and the launch of our Editor's Collection boxes.